How Well Do You Know Yourself?
What is "self-awareness," and what purpose does it serve? In this article, I will attempt to present methods and strategies for getting to know yourself.
Knowing Yourself
I believe we can open the subject with a brief definition: Knowing oneself is an individual's realization of their true self. But what exact meaning lies behind this? Self-knowledge goes hand in hand with self-observation and self-reflection—meaning a person reflects upon themselves and acquires knowledge about who they are. Self-awareness, the ability to be conscious of oneself, is a fundamental prerequisite for self-knowledge.
However, according to experts, if elements such as self-observation, self-awareness, and conscious reflection of the self are lacking, one's self-image can become distorted and even lead to self-deception. Such deception can manifest in varying degrees, ranging from a distorted perception of one's capacity for empathy to impaired conscious judgment.
What Does This Awareness Mean to Me?
The absence of self-awareness does not, of course, necessarily signal self-deception. Becoming aware of your true self is often a process that does not happen overnight. Part of the path and ultimate goal of self-knowledge is learning to question oneself, gaining a deeper self-understanding, and eliminating self-deprecation or exaggeration. By knowing yourself, you understand who you truly are—and that is sometimes not so easy: social pressure and mounting expectations of yourself can complicate life. Therefore, being able to answer the following questions will be immensely helpful to you.
Who am I?
What do I enjoy?
What do I need?
The answers to these questions are critical because those who know themselves—who know what they expect and need from themselves and from life—take control of their lives, advance toward their goals with greater confidence, and learn to navigate their own setbacks. Knowing yourself can also make it easier to place yourself in others' shoes, thereby enhancing your relationships with those around you.
So, is reaching the answers to these questions really that simple? Below, I touch upon strategies on how you can achieve superior self-awareness.
Strategies for Knowing Yourself
- Stop Sabotaging Yourself
Have you ever stood in your own way? Almost everyone can likely recall a situation where they sabotaged themselves, whether consciously or unconsciously. So why do we harbor this inclination? Self-sabotage can be caused by behavioral patterns, fears (such as fear of change), or false beliefs. Do you feel like you are trapped in a constant cycle of repetition, plagued by bad luck, or continuously crossing paths with the wrong people? All of these can be situations where negative experiences recall themselves more vividly, pulling us under. As a result, because we are prevented from seeing the actual big picture, we might lose courage or obstruct ourselves from making a sound evaluation.
With the help of self-observation and self-reflection, you can delve into the roots of such thought patterns, learn to understand yourself better, and resolve negative patterns or beliefs.
– Whenever a negative thought about yourself arises, question its validity by identifying examples that prove the exact opposite –
- Compare Your Self-Image with Your External Image
Consciously or unconsciously, everyone maintains an image of themselves, just as others perceive you according to their own lenses. As a rule, your self-image and external image will not overlap one hundred percent—and how could they? Not everyone can know everything about you, and certain aspects of yourself remain hidden even from you (referred to as a blind spot). However, if the two images diverge significantly, it serves as a strong incentive to ask yourself why.
Do you consider yourself particularly generous, yet your friends roll their eyes when you mention it? This does not necessarily mean you lack generosity. Perhaps you exhibit this trait more naturally around your family? Or could there be a kernel of truth in your friends' reaction? Therefore, try to compare your self-image with how others view you as objectively as possible. And remember: how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself mutually influence each other. If you have been told since childhood that you are not athletic, you will likely continue believing it as an adult, even if it does not hold true. (Naturally, this applies to positive traits as well.) Questioning and contrasting both images can help you gain profound self-awareness.
– Seek feedback, confront the perception you project, and if you are unsatisfied with the outcome, define a plan for personal change or development –
- Look for Answers Within Yourself
When I land the perfect job... when I buy my dream house... when the person I am in love with finally notices me... then I will be complete; then I will finally be happy! Notice how there is always an external expectation attached. Many successful individuals seek happiness not only externally, but within themselves. Such external factors can certainly contribute to our joy and satisfaction in life, but ultimately, sustainable happiness is only possible if we know ourselves and truly appreciate our intrinsic worth.
– Do not index your worth and happiness to external factors! –
- Self-Reflection
By working through the strategies mentioned so far, you have already established a practice of self-reflection. Naturally, depending on the area where you find self-awareness challenging, several additional questions can guide you. Here are a few deceptively simple yet deeply challenging questions to ponder:
What makes my heart beat faster?
Who truly matters to me, and why?
What am I actually grateful for?
What do I appreciate about myself?
What values do I wish to live by?
What have been my greatest achievements so far?
What do I need to reach my goals?
Looking back, how do I evaluate a specific situation (such as a conflict)?
Would I act the same way again, and why or why not?
What can I do to strengthen my body and mind?
When do I feel completely like myself?
– Write down your sincere answers to these questions and allow yourself time to repeatedly reflect upon them –
- Be Authentic
Being authentic—or being genuine—is a trait that is easy to talk about, but not always simple to practice. This is because authenticity can sometimes falter under the weight of others' expectations or our own fears, leaving us reacting in ways we did not intend. However, if social pressure or the fear of rejection holds you back from living your life, nothing in this world will bring you true fulfillment. Therefore, pursue your values and goals, and re-examine them periodically, as they sometimes require a personal update. Be honest with yourself and grant yourself permission to simply be yourself.
– Set a high purpose for yourself that aligns with your core values, so that even the pursuit of this goal brings you joy –
